Friday, January 25, 2013

Birthdays Vegas Style

Last Saturday was both my MOH and bestie, and my best guy friends birthday.  In the past we have celebrated by taking a trip somewhere up north in NM where we can rent out a cozy cabin and play in the snow for the long weekend.

This year we decided to save some money and do something a little different.

For about 3 years in a row we celebrated my birthday in Vegas.  We haven't gone for the past 2 years because everyone has been getting married and/or engaged and it's just too darned expensive.

Soooo, we decided that for Dig and Jay's birthdays we'd bring Vegas to US!

And boy did we!

Janean and Lauren ordered a TON of decorations and totally transformed Jay and Janean's house into a mini Vegas!  A whole room set up to look like a club (and one of our favorite clubs at that, The Rockhouse!).  Another room had casino games and the dining room table was converted into a poker table where the guys spent most of their night.
Dance Party 2013!



Each of the birthday kids got their own Vegas inspired drink and I made 100% totally homemade Vegas inspired cupcakes for each of them.

Dig's Vegas drink named after her favorite slot machine!
Jay had some purple ddrraannnkkk
Side note:  Super proud and boastful of myself with those damn cupcakes.  I made Jay a Guinness chocolate cupcake with Bailey's Irish Cream frosting, and I made Dig a white russian cupcake that was brushed with Kahlua and had a little vodka and Kahlua in the whipped cream frosting.  YUMMO!!!

Y-U-M

N.E.Wayz (did anyone else used to write like that?! Anyone? No?  MAN how annoying that is!) - we danced and drank and laughed the night away.  We also made it a potluck event so there was a TON of Vegas-y foods to get down on.

My love was a HOT PIECE in his suit! Ow Ow!!
 I'm pretty partial to my own birthday - but all in all I have to say that this is most definitely one for the record books.  As in one of the best parties that we've ever thrown and that says a LOT because several of us have been friends for like 15 years.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Wedding World 2013


That's what I'm calling this mess.  Ok, it's not a mess - but it's makin me a little nuts.  Bride Brain has officially kicked in and sometimes thinking about what still has to be done can be super overwhelming.

This weekend I finally ordered our guest book and our serving set.  Then I had a teeny tiny meltdown when I realized that I had spent 100 bones on 2 dinky items.  Why the crap are weddings so expensive?  I had my second teeny tiny meltdown when I realized that I had forgotten to order the flower girl basket.  So now I'm going to hope that David's Bridal has one in our color because I will sit  down on the floor and throw a fit if I have to spend an extra 10 bucks on shipping! Yuck.

I have to take a minute to be grateful for my future mother in law, Carmen.  She used to be a wedding planner of sorts, so she's really helped me to take this on.  My Mom got married in a court house, my Grandma thinks spending 10 dollars on something is too much, and the 2 aunts that could really help me live out of state.  So Brian's mom has really been a big help to me!

Enter: The Rehearsal Dinner (Cue: dramatic lowering of the lights and dun dun duuunnnnnnn music).

This part of the planning was stressing me out to the max.  Carmen and Erv (FIL) offered to pay for it because it's part of he groom's parents responsibilities, but also because the truly wanted to.  So about a month ago I started looking up some restaurants to see what was out there.  I live in a bigger city, but we don't have a lot of options when it comes to this stuff.  And I was pretty shocked and intimidated when I saw the price tags attached to renting a room and having a simple buffet!

So I did what any girl would do.  I ignored it.  I would tell Carmen "Oh yeah I've been looking but haven't decided yet" every time she talked about it.

Well, she caught onto me and (thankfully) went behind my back and did it all for me!  Can I get a WOOP WOOP!

This might piss some brides off .... but noooottttt me.  

See, we already have a large wedding party.  And being that it'll be a Catholic ceremony, we needed ushers, readers, people to carry the gifts, etc.  And we also have a few family members helping out with things like the music, etc.  So when I wrote out a list of people and their guests, our list was well over 50 people for just a rehearsal dinner!  So looking at the menu prices for some of these places just gave me a knot in my stomach.  How would we ask them to pay that? Wouldn't it be easier just to grill some burgers and dogs in someones backyard?  Come on people! You're killin me!

But, it didn't kill Carmen and she called around until she settled on El Pinto - a great little Mexican restaurant with a great environment.  It's one I had looked at before .... but my jaw dropped when I saw that one of the cheaper buffet options was THIRTY DOLLARS A PERSON!  Yeah, you can do the math on that one. 

When she called to tell me she had made the reservation, that stupid little knot came right back.  I called Brian to talk to him about it because I felt so bad that they'd be spending that much money on us!!  He felt bad too, so he talked with his parents and they assured us to the moon and back that this was what they wanted to do, and that they were happy to do it for us.  

Can we say amazing?  I am SO grateful for this!!!! Not only have they helped us out in so many other aspects of this wedding, but this just makes me appreciate them so so much (not like I already didn't, but you know!).  She totally saved me from Bridezilla-ing out! 

Not to mention, I'm also thankful that she isn't a mother-in-law-zilla (totally made that up) and that she plans things like this that I actually like!  Another point for Carmen!

Man, weddings are HARD!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Some Jillian Wisdom

Last night I had the workout from hell.  No, I didn't use a personal trainer and get my ass handed to me.  Not even close.  I did 30DS in my living room, and attempted the elliptical.  I just could NOT get myself motivated!  The battery of my HRM died (I hope that's the problem) and I'm kinda glad it did because I'm sure my "burn" would have been pretty pathetic.  I even watched The Biggest Loser trying to use THAT to kick it up a notch.  Oh well.  At least I did it.


Jillian did, however, have some words of wisdom that really hit home.  I deleted the episode like a dummy, but she was talking to Francelina and said something like "you gain, you lose, you gain, you lose, then you self sabotage". 

Ding ding ding ding!!  I totally have been doing that!! For like, 2 years!

Let's take a little walk through time, shall we?  Rewind: October, 2009.  I knew I was tipping the scales, and especially knew it when I saw this picture from that Halloween:

I don't know why this turned out blurry, but whatev, you get the message.
It took me a few months, but finally that January I joined Weight Watchers weight in at about 179.  I dropped 25 lbs in about 3-4ish months.  I was feeling on top of the world, and that's when Brian and I started dating.  
I'm on the far left in case you couldn't recognize me by the skinny face!

In the first 5 months we were together and falling in looovvvee (cue: collective aaahhhhh sighs!) I totally blew WW off and did whatever I wanted.  That meant letting him cook me breakfasts filled with pancakes, bacon, waffles.  Going to dinner and not thinking twice about Points of calories or anything. So within those first few months I gained every. single. pound. back.
Why no, I'm not 7 months pregnant.  That's just my chub!

From then on I'd join WW, lose about 8-10 lbs, get frustrated or make up another excuse, and quit. Then I'd gain that weight back, lose it again, and so on.  But in the past few years I haven't been able to get below 175 and when I started with Spark People and counting calories at the end of December, I weighted in at a whopping 190.  Yikes.  

When Brian and I were getting ready to take our engagement pictures in November, I had to buy a size 14 jean.  That's the largest size I've ever been, and I'm so ashamed of it.  

I didn't have a huge epiphany when I heard Jillian say those words about self sabotage .... but something in my brain did click.  I KNOW I sabotage myself - it's just hard to put my finger on WHY I do.

I always try to remember how good I felt when I had lost all the wait in 2010. It was the night that Brian and I were to arrange our first date and my whole group of friends was to meet at our friend J's house to watch some UFC.  Trying to figure out what to wear so I would look cute, I pulled out a pair of non-stretch Old Navy jeans.  I had bought them when I worked there for about 4 bucks, thinking they'd fit.  Well, they never did, but I held onto them because they were 4 bucks. I giggled at myself for even wanting to try them on, but I did anyway.  To my SHOCK, they fit PERFECTLY.  With even a teeny tiny bit of room to spare.

No joke...I happy danced myself all over my room.  I jumped around, fist pumped, and partied like it was 1999.

THAT'S the feeling that I want to have again.  I want to be THAT proud of myself.  I want to NOT freak out when someone notices I've dropped a few pounds and think to myself "Well, you're gonna get stuck and don't wanna hear it from people, so go ahead and get that large extra value meal!"

YaknowwhatI'msayin?!

So, to make a long ramble short, THAT is my goal.  That feeling.  I don't care what the scale says (ok, liar liar pants on fire I do care a little bit).  I just want to feel good again.  So I'll keep thinking of Jillian's words, and stop with the self sabotage already!!!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Just Keep Truckin'

That's all I've been doing.  Slowly but surely, day by day.

I had a good WI on Saturday (I forgot to WI on Friday, oops).  I lost 3.2 bringing me down to 186.1.  It was SO good to see that scale move.

I'm a dedicated scale cheater.  I really like to weight myself daily so that I'm not disappointed on Friday's.  I'm trying to work on that habit because I tend to become scale obsessed, and that's not good. Last week I was ready to chuck my scale out the window and go by a "fancier" one because I was convinced that mine was broken since the number wouldn't move down.  Not the case!!

Funny thing about my loss is that I had weighed myself Thursday morning and the number hadn't budged.  I got pissed and told Brian "forget it!! this is bullshit...I'm cheating tonight.  I want General Tso's Chicken and a crap ton of brown rice".  He obliged and even though I still watched my portions, it wasn't where I wanted to be calorie wise.

Even though it was a cheat, I still tracked it which is a bonus for me.

And apparently the extra calorie boost (oh, and the 4 glasses of wine) was what I needed to see that number drop a bit.

It was also the motivation I needed to realize that I was being a dumb ass and don't need to give up over one bad day on the scale.

So I've been truckin' along, doing my thang on the elliptical every day/night - and yesterday I got back on the 30DS bandwagon.

If you know me...you'll know that I am NOT a morning person, so this next part should blow you away.

Last night around 9 I got a phone call from our school district saying that our pitiful amount of snow was causing us to be on a 2 hour delay today.

Instead of using those 2 hours for extra sleep....I got up at my normal time which is crack of doom o'thirty. After stretching and giving myself a few pep talks I suited up and did 30DS in my living room. That took about 25ish minutes....then I hauled my not a morning person ass into the bedroom and hopped on the elliptical for another 35ish minutes.  What the what?!

Guess what?

I felt great.

It was an awesome start to my morning!  Brian is out of town for work, so that made it a little easier because I wasn't waking him up by being in our room.  Problem?  Doing this on a regular basis would mean me getting up by about 4:20, give or take 10 minutes.

Am I that dedicated?  I'm not sure.  That's what this week is about...trial and error while Brian is gone.

I usually have no problem working out in the afternoon....but I gotta tell you.  I'm home, in my relaxing clothes right now watching my DVR'd shows and knowing that I don't have to go jump on Bob (the elliptical, don't ask) is really nice.  I've already felt the burn today.  I'm actually thinking about going for a round 2, but I don't wanna burn myself out.

So we'll see....but for now....juuuuuuust keep truckin'.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

The Cabin

The holidays were a little bit different this year. We've done the family balancing act in the past - but this year my Grammy decided to spend Christmas with my Aunt in Arizona. Read: my side of the family wouldn't be getting together since Gram is the anchor. 

Since both of Brian's parents birthdays fall right before Christmas, and his mom was turning the big 6-oh this year, we decided to do something a bit different.  We decided that we'd all head up to the family's cabin the week before Christmas to just plain ole relax.  

Side view of the most peaceful place I know!
I ended up lucking out and being able to take the last 2 days before break off of work.  That in itself was a small miracle.  It isn't looked upon highly for teachers to have subs in their classrooms right before a huge break!  Thank you, Principal! You made my holiday rock!!

So, Wednesday the 19th, aka Carmen's birthday, we headed up as soon as I could get out of work. Carmen and Ervey were already there with Samuel and Della.  Jenny, Jeff and Sofia headed up about an hour after we did.

Let me just tell you....this cabin is like a sanctuary. Up until about 6 months ago, there wasn't even cell phone service.  It's just that isolated. On our last trip up in October, Carmen had DirecTV installed because we figured it might be smart to catch the news every now and then and not be totally cut off from civilization. It's the one place where we can go and NOT worry about work, what's going on at home, what we're stressed about, ANYthing. Most of the time I don't even wear anything besides PJ's or sweats.  We shower when we want to, if we want  to, and it's fantastic.

Matter of fact, this time, we had NO running water.  Period.  It was cold, and snowy and we didn't want to risk the pipes bursting.  So we went running water free. I never thought I'd say this - but it was pretty sweet "roughin it".  We always bring drinking water, and Carmen's cousin Chrissy lives at the bottom of the mountain - so we were able to fill up jugs for dishes and things like that.  

Anyway - cabin trips always start out the same.  Get there, unload, put food away, set up drink station, drink.  Then we mix in a little snack eating, old school board game playing, and VHS movie watching. Have I mentioned how great it is yet? No?
Just a small sample of our drink station for the week.

This time we took all of our dogs since we'd be up there for almost a week.  They had such a good time playing in the snow, and it was my little Molly-Mo's first time seeing the white stuff!  We lounged, had a snow ball fight, made snow angels, and attempted to make a snowman but the snow just wasn't ready yet.
Molly enjoying the snow and trying to steal her Dad's hotdog!

"Look Aun Sam! I a snow angel!"

Our nights were filled with eating (we made a full-on turkey dinner with all the fixin's for one night!), stroking the fire, and setting up our fire pit on the deck.  We'd sit outside and roast some 'mallow's, drinking to our hearts content, and just enjoying being together as a family. 
Christmas lights, the deck, the fire pit, life is GOOD

The kiddo's and I made a gingerbread house, which Haus-Pooch promptly ate, and we even set up a Christmas tree complete with a small white elephant gift exchange.


Sofie Jo decorating our tree
Haus (Background) decided he liked gingerbread, he ate everything in the front!
We had such a good time that Brian and me, and his parents decided to stay an extra night.  We came back the Sunday before Christmas Eve.  This trip was so amazing that I'm still thinking about it, weeks later.  It was just what the doctor ordered before the craziness of the holidays and having to come back to work. It has definitely got me looking forward to the next time we can escape! Family vacations are the best!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Weighty Issues


I've changed this blog about a million times.  I've added posts, deleted posts, started fresh and then not written at all. How annoying! I'm finally to a point where I realize that I'm writing for me, and that's what matters.  I don't have to link to a million people to try and gain an audience - and if someone stumbles upon me an likes what they read, great!  If not, I'll move it on and be just fine.

That being said, it's not new for me to talk about my weight.  It sucks.  A big fat one. I've been up and down like a roller coaster and it's just not a fun ride anymore.  I want the hell off of it!  

The fact that my wedding is less than 5 months away has come up and slapped me right in the face. It's time to face facts -  I'm fat.  I'm embarrassed by how I look in pictures, case in point:


This was taken over the holidays at a family get together.  I bought the shirt because it was layered and I thought it would hide some of my flub.  WRONG! Try again!!  Look at the chunk-a-lunk face and the rolls.  Yikes.

So of course as the new year was rung in, I knew that was my time to get with it.  I signed up for SparkPeople and started counting my calories.  I also hit the 30 Day Shred pretty damn hard and I was ROCKING it.  I was SO proud of myself ... I did 4 solid days - which doesn't seem like much - but for someone who sits on the couch with her DVR usually, it's big.

Then, it happened.

I got sick.

I went out with the girls Thursday night and killed it at the bar - meaning I ordered a salad and stuck to my Bacardi and diets. I was super proud! I went home with a sore throat but chalked it up to yelling across a table for 4 hours.  Nope.  Woke up on Friday and got smacked in the face with a nasty cold. 

I'm smart enough to know that a cold isn't the end of the world. I ate decently over the weekend, but didn't get off the couch to track my calories so I know I went over.  

It's just so....FRUSTRATING.  I wanted to get up and work out, so I changed clothes and stretched only to throw myself into a coughing fit that said "nope...not ready yet!" Lame, party of one?!

All of my friends have hopped on the healthy wagon which is awesome - but I want to be on it too!  I want this to work so badly and I'm terrified of failing.  What if I can't fit into my wedding dress?! I don't want to look back at my wedding photos and be disappointed in myself and my weight. Even as silly as it sounds to say that out loud!

Also - Brian and I want a family, big time.  I'll probably be off of the pill by the end of the summer. And I don't want to skyrocket over 200 lbs when I'm pregnant!  I want to start off our family by being healthy - not a big unhealthy mess!

I will say that I'm finally getting over the dumb cold. Yesterday I was bound and determined and I succeeded.  I went home, put on work out clothes and hopped on the elliptical.  I put on Monday's The Biggest Loser and I went to town.  Before I knew it, I had gone for 80 minutes and the episode was over! I was SUPER proud of myself!  Buuuuttt then I got off and hocked up a lung on the bedroom floor.  Fun!

Fingers are still crossed that this is a battle I WILL win!  Stay tuned for updates....

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Dress Time

Growing up I would always think and dream about my wedding, but those dreams were always pretty hazy.  I didn't have a clue what my "perfect" dress would be, nor what I would want my girls to wear.  So when it came down to planning and picking things out I felt a little overwhelmed.  All the other details were pretty easy to come by - but I had my first mini meltdown when it came to picking out what my girls would wear.

Picking my colors was pretty simple.  I love pink, but a good friend had just gotten married and her wedding was pink and while it was absolutely gorgeous, it made me see that pink wasn't for me.  So after talking with Brian I decided to do red and black, with some silver accents. That gave me the start that I needed to get things going for the girls and myself.

To backtrack ... my Godmother offered to purchase my dress for me.  She lives out of town and I knew I wanted to have her be in the experience as much as possible.  So when I found out that she would be in town for a few days I quickly scheduled an appointment with David's Bridal and thought to myself "Eh, what the heck.  It'll be a quick trip and I can at least try on some dresses and get a feel for what I like and I can buy in a few months".

How wrong I was!

Salise came with me to my appointment along with my Aunt, Mom and Grammy. Salise and I got there a little early so I decided we should check out some bridesmaids dresses for the heck of it.  I didn't have a clue what I would want except that it should be short.  Our awesome consultant offered us some more of her time so that Salise could try on a few dresses along side myself in the gowns.  It was so sweet of her and really made me think about my choices.

The more racks we searched the more I knew.  I wanted the dresses to be short and black. The red they had was beautiful - but I didn't want the girls to carry white flowers because that's boring! As we looked at some options in black I was sold.  Black dresses, red flowers, red shoes, red accessories.  Simple but classy which is exactly what I'm going for with the whole wedding.

So our consultant pulled about 4 dresses for me to try on, I chose 3 for Salise and we headed off to our rooms.  Putting on that first dress was so surreal! I couldn't believe that it was actually my turn and that this was actually happening.  I totally had one of those geeky "I'm a princess!!!" moments and may or may not have jumped up and down a bit in my room.

I came out in the first dress and everyone got big smiles on their faces and gasped.  I knew it had potential!  I stepped onto the platform, looked into the mirror, and fell in love.  Every single detail was perfect. It was a ball gown, with tulle (which I thought I didn't like), and just the right amount of sparkle. I quickly tried on a few more but found myself comparing every one to the first one! Basically I walked into the store thinking it would just be a trial and walked out with my dress! Unfortunately I can't copy the picture and I'm not about to post one of me in it yet! I also got all my under things, veil and a tiara.  I walked out of that place in shock, that's for sure!!

As for the ladies, Salise tried on 3 and I liked them all.  So we made an appointment for the rest of the girls to come and try things on.  They all have a big range in body types so I wanted to find something that they would all feel comfortable in.  Right before the appointment Salise texted me with a link to a dress that I didn't even notice the first time we were there.  I didn't really like it in the picture but said I'd check it out.

Insert: Mini meltdown!!

It is SO hard to figure out what other people should wear!  I got there before all of the girls and pulled out all 4 dresses on the racks.  I walked between each dress about a million and a half times before they arrived. I was critiquing the crap out of each one and was about ready to put them all back and start from scratch!  Thankfully Salise showed up just then and helped me to calm my nerves.

Anywho...long novel shortened a bit, the 3 we had originally chosen turned out to be duds. A few of the girls have big ole T's and that eliminated 2 of them right away.  The third was a maybe but it just seemed too "blah".  So they all went back in their rooms to try on the 4th - which was the one Salise had texted to me.

They all ended up coming out of their rooms at about the same time, and I was in LOVE! It's this dress and I really wasn't in love with the material, until I saw it in person. It fit all of my girls in all the right areas big and small - and the most important part, they were all comfortable in it! SOLD!

I started this post in early December .... and then of course, life happened.  I'm in full-on wedding mode and I can't wait to talk about more details and see this all come to life! Less than 5 months away! WOW!!!!